Taking a break ain't easy!

So I know, I'm on a break from TTC. I'm not on any meds, I have no treatments planned, but I'm still peeing on OPK's this week for some stupid reason. My nips started hurting a few days ago (sorry for the TMI) and I had a little EWCM and I just pull out my left over OPK's and started marking my territory. I just don't want to pass up any opportunity that I ovulate on my own. I haven't counted out my cycle days this month in an effort to really try and forget about all this pregnancy and baby business, but I know it hasn't quite been 3 weeks yet from the start of my cycle. I
f I ovulate this early on my own, I should be proud!!! I haven't gotten a positive yet, but it is getting a little darker each day. I usually ovulate between day 17-21 on clomid, but much much later on my own. We'll see what happens. Am I silly for doing this? My hubs saw one of my sticks laying out and scolded me, but he said he understands. It doesn't hurt to try on our own. It probably won't happen anyway.
In other news I had my second session with my therapist last tuesday. We talked a lot about my childhood and my marriage. I expect a lot out of everyone, including myself, and I have to adjust my expectations to something more realistic. It's one of the hardest things I've ever tried to do. Accepting that life can't be perfect or thinking that you deserve some perfection after a life of hardship is just not realistic. Shitty things are going to happen, good things are going to happen. I have to work with what I have and deal with the rest, and then let all that bad stuff go. It's tough stuff that's for sure!
I've been having a rough week at work this week too. I had 3 12 hour night shifts in a row and we were so busy! Our tiny hospital usually does about 10 deliveries a month ( we only have 3 delivery rooms). In two days we did 5 deliveries, it was madness. I was the only nurse on, plus we had other three other medical patients on the floor. I felt like I was a real nurse again. I love labor and delivery and I had a good weekend with all the women. I don't feel jealous at work, for some reason, I just enjoy it. I got to snuggle on a bunch of babies which always helps. My job is great...sometimes! I was so tired that I just crashed out when I got home this morning and slept all day into the afternoon. It was fantastic.
I hope everyone has a great holiday weekend!