+ OPK!!!!!

So I got my positive late on Saturday night/Sunday morning. On the upside of things I really am starting to know my body and I am super impressed by that. I noticed my specific symptoms and I am so happy that I was right about it. I also ovulated earlier than all my cycles on clomid (it was day 18) and I did it all on my own!!! No meds!!! This is exciting to me because my cycles have never been consistent and have NEVER been less than 35 days, ever. They've even been as long as 6 months and anywhere in between. I really think it has something to do with the fact that I have been purposefully focusing on anything and everything but having a baby. Yes, I've had my weak moments (aka using OPK's). But I'm still consciously trying to think about other stuff and not let getting pregnant stress me out. On the downside of things, in order to contribute to my effort of "being on a break", the hubs and I only had sex once during my fertile time. I didn't want to force it and I'm sick of TTC ruining our sex life. Everything is so mechanical so not spontaneous or even sexy. Sex has become strictly babymaking and I don't want that and I'm quite sure he doesn't either. The one time we did have was good, like us pre TTC good, and that is all that matters.
I had another therapy appt today and it went really well. We talked a lot about infertility again, the sense of loss, the effect on the marriage. But we also got into my childhood and she asked if next time we could talk about how I became who I am. I lost my dad when I was 19 and he was an alcoholic. I think a lot of who I am, the caretaker and the strong one, is due to the way I grew up. I think I'm ready to delve into why I get so depressed when things get tough. Hopefully there is a light at the end of this tunnel.
Well....I'm off to pack. Barcelona here I come! Have a great week everyone!