Annoyed

I am just plain annoyed with everything today. My lovely husband decided yet again to piss me off. I am frustrated with the way I do everything he ever asks or take care of anything he ever needs but...when I am in need of something or something makes me uncomfortable he will not help me. He tries to push me to do it, to make me get over my fears or maybe because he is just lazy sometimes :) I know we'll get over this little tiff, but I do not need this right now.
I got my period on Memorial Day, just like I knew I would. I even took a test on Sunday holding onto my last ounce of hope. But alas no. I knew this was how this month would end, but it still hurts so much. I have to schedule my HSG now and then accept that this is our break month from TTC. We still have to talk with the doctor about what to do next. Injectibles and IUI's? More clomid? Different drugs? IVF? Adoption?
Just writing that I may need IVF gives me chills. It is so expensive and so emotionally hard on the couple. I'm honestly scared of it. I don't judge anyone else who has done it, and I definitely am considering it as an option. But to me I feel like I am messing with science and that it may cause me more heartache in the end. Maybe we just weren't meant to have children. What if my body can't carry a pregnancy and infertility is it's way of keeping me from the heartache of miscarriages? I just don't know if I can play god and then not expect issues. But I so want to have a family and it might be my only chance. Who knows!?! We definitely have a lot of talking to do.
My husband will be leaving on Friday for the States and I'm looking forward to the break. I can work out and eat healthy and watch what I want on TV and have all the snuggle time I need with Satchel, my pup. A little break from each other will do us some good. I head out to the states on the 23rd and I am so excited. Until next time... I leave you with a photo from our trip to the vineyard last weekend. I need more good weekends like this to keep me positive.