All Clear, Now What?

So the HSG wasn't too bad. It hurt like a mother when he threaded the catheter but I didn't even feel the dye going through. Lucky me, I only need two squirts of dye to show that my uterus and both fallopian tubes are all clear, just as my Dr. had suspected. How does this make me feel? Mixed feelings I suppose. Relieved because that I don't have yet another road block to getting pregnant, but also annoyed because there still isn't really a reason that I'm not getting pregnant. It has been mentioned that I may have PCOS, and I probably do, but no official diagnosis. I'm just not ovulating for some reason. And for some reason, I'm responding perfectly to the clomid but just not getting pregnant. Let the frustration ensue. I asked what the next step was and I'm not officially satisfied with my response. Apparently we cannot do IUI's at my hospital because the lab doesn't have sperm washing capabilities. So I would have to go out in town to see the Italian RE. Not so much excited about that. I've had limited experience with the Italian providers just transferring my own patients out in town, and I was not impressed. They seem to be 10 years+ behind the technology and care in the states. And the language barrier alone seems daunting. They send a translator for part of it, but no guarantees. Ughhh!

So my Dr and I decided to try 2 or 3 more cycles of clomid at 100mg for cycle days 5-10 (6 days) since I responded so well on my last cycle. We'll see what happens. I'm just going to wait to get my period on my own. Who knows when that will be?!? If not by the end of July I'll get some provera. I'm ready to enjoy my break though. I need it.

I'm on my 2nd week of being alone in Sicily. Not too bad so far. I worked all weekend and have been staying busy with friends on my days off. I am nervous about seeing my pregnant sister in law and her pregnant bridesmaids. I just don't want to be sad the whole time and wishing my life away. I have it pretty darn good, and I should be enjoying myself not hating myself. I'm going to make an appt with one of the counselors on base, just to talk and get some of these feelings off my chest. Hopefully it will help. Have a great week everyone!