Emotional

So that elusive period I've been waiting for..... yeah, it's here. I was a wreck yesterday, I should have known. I had a well woman exam (some yearly navy fun for us active duty folks) and met with the new OB doctor for my pap, breast exam, yada, yada, yada. She said she read my history and began asking me questions about my infertility. I kept my responses short and tried to avoid. I've been doing such a good job at keeping all my feelings at bay these days, that I didn't realize I was bottling them up. I mean, Sam is gone, I have no treatment options here, its pretty easy to realize that the hope is gone at least until my husband and I are in the same zip code. But all the emotions came rushing back when the Dr told me with tears in her eyes that she tried for a year and a half with here son and that she knows how hard this can be. She was very sweet, but seeing her pain reminded me of my own and I began to tear up too. I was on the verge of losing it all day. Fast forward to a few hours later and a dental appointment revealing 2 fricking cavities. Uggghhh! Talk about a bad day :(

But, I went to bed early and I feel better today. I woke up with my period which means it will be long gone before I see Sam and I will be able to (ahem!) enjoy my two weeks with my husband:) Now I just have to tackle the 10th

anniversary of my father's death (tomorrow) and that looming 30th birthday in two weeks. This is a rough month!

Before Sam left in August we took some great family photos (a couple with a dog is a family, right?) This one always makes me smile.

I miss Sam so much. I just have to make it another 13 days. I can do it, right?