Virgin Blogger

Hello to anyone who may find me. This is my first blog attemp, I'm Rose. I'm starting this blog at the bitter end of a two week wait. I've been lurking for 2 years, secretly reading your stories, learning from your struggles, enjoying watching everyone achieve their goals of becoming parents. I have not achieved my goals, I have not found a way to cope, and I am seriously hoping this is it. I was so sure that this month would work, would be different. But alas no...

A little about me I guess. I'm 28 years old, married for 3 years to a wonderful guy. I am a labor and delivery nurse in the Navy. I am currently stationed overseas in Italy. We've been TTC for 2 and a half years. I have PCOS and just finished my third round of clomid without success. I am in love with my dog Satchel, he is truly one of the only things that can console me.

I love scrapbooking and traveling. I just started running to try and lose a few pounds and to distract me from all things pregnancy and baby related.

Everywhere I go, especially after AF shows up or you get a BFN, there is a pregnant lady or a baby. My job consists of caring for pregnant women, which I absolutely love, but it also tortures me. I just have this gnawing feeling it will never be our turn. That my arms will remain empty and I will always feel this longing to be a part of the amazing birth process that I see everyday. I'm jaded today, sorry! AF just showed up today, right when I should be getting my BFP and jumping for joy. Instead I'll curl up on the couch, and pretend that my heart isn't aching.