9 Weeks

This is my first survey! Yippee:

Size of baby: green olive
Total Weight Gain: no gain yet......

Symptoms: Nausea (ugghhh), fatigue, sore breasts, gas, constipation. I feel okay overall, but I've had a few days where I have struggled. I finally caved and got some zofran. It really has helped me tolerate the constant all day nausea.
Maternity Clothes: None yet, everything still fits. I am getting a little bloated in the evenings, but I'm usually in sweatpants by then :)
Sleep: Going to bed very early (7pm) and getting up too early, even on the weekends (445AM). I've never missed my own bed so much. Because I'm moving across the ocean (again) in 3 weeks, all of our stuff has been packed and moved out now for 3 weeks. Hopefully it's floating on a ship by now and making it's way back to our new house. I can't wait to get out of this loaner bed (no box spring, mattress is hard a rock) and into my good new pillow top mattress waiting for me at the new house!
Cravings: Grilled Cheese, fries, cold water, any carbs I can find. I'm running out of things I like to eat, though. Everything sounds good and then once I eat it and I feel sick afterwards, I can't eat it again.
Movement: None yet :)

I can't believe I've made it to nine weeks! I have my first official OB appointment and my dating ultrasound on April 3rd. they may change my due date since I've been measuring ahead for those first two ultrasounds, but honesty who knows? I'm a little worried that I haven't seen the baby for two weeks, but I'm trying hard to trust that everything is okay. I saw that beautiful heartbeat twice and still feel very sick. I have no reason not to believe that for once everything could be okay and actually work out for us. I'm getting really excited about my upcoming move and reuniting with Sam again. I can't wait to finally celebrate this little one with him and enjoy our new house together. It's crazy that I've been going through all of this alone, but I'm hanging in there and getting through it. We are just so lucky that it even happened at all that I can't help but be grateful no matter how screwed up our situation is. I have 19 days left in Italy. I cannot wait to get home and share our news with our parents and friends.

Updates

I'm still here. Still pregnant. Still nauseous and uncomfortable. Still grateful! I got to see my little bean again last friday and hear the beautiful little heartbeat. It was 147bpm and flickering away. I'm currently measuring 3 days ahead now, YIKES!!!

I finished up school for the quarter and am thankful to have a little two week break from the insanity of studying and writing papers while trying to keep my lunch down. I'm going to quilt and relax through my last few weeks here in Italy. It doesn't seem real that I will be moving home in a short 27 days. I cannot wait to be back with Sam and settle into our new house. Here's hoping our stuff will get there in a timely manner :)

In the last year I have completed 4 quilts and am currently working on my fifth. I thought I would share some pictures of the christmas quilt and the baby quilt I made for my mother and my bff (respectively).

Feeling like shit is a good thing right?

I'm feeling cruddy. Downright cruddy. Don't want to move, or eat, or smile again cruddy. I had no idea how this was going to feel. I guess I thought most women expected to be sick and therefore played the part. But this is serious. I haven't puked yet (for which I am grateful) but I am completely nauseated with awful belly pain 24 hours a day for the last three days. I can't even sleep because my stomach is gnawing away at me. It has caught me by surprise and I feel like a total wuss. Because Sam is gone, I only have the dog to complain to. Don't get me wrong, I am incredibly grateful for this little one, but I have a new found respect for pregnant women. I'm hoping this will pass quickly!

Meeting my little bean :)

I know this is a crappy scan but here is my little one! I had my first ultra sound today and it was amazing. As soon as I saw my little bean I started sobbing. The doctor couldn't even keep the image on the screen because of all my heaving. The doctor and my friend Sara and I all started screaming and laughing and crying with joy. I saw the yolk sac, fetal pole, and a beautiful heartbeat flickering away. We couldn't hear it yet but I saw it beating away. It was wonderful. I just cannot believe this is finally happening to me. I told another friend about the baby today and he actually had tears in his eyes. One of the most wonderful parts of this whole experience has been watching people react. It shows how much people care about us and how much they have been on this journey with us. I guess I felt so alone through all of this and then all of a sudden there were all these people standing there rooting for us the whole time. I am truly feeling the love!

I had my first bout of morning sickness today too. I almost had to pull the car over on the way to work this morning. It was bad. I guess I just have to eat something right when I get up to ward it off. It went away but it came back a little this afternoon. I still have the breast tenderness, am pretty sleepy, and have been hitting the bathroom pretty frequently. But other than that I feel pretty good.

I'll be getting another scan next week to see if we can get a better crown rump length and make sure things are still good. I measured one day ahead at 6+1 weeks. I am so thankful for this baby.

Empty House

I'm all packed up and will be living in an empty house for the next 44 days!!! Which means 44 days until I get home to my hubby and my new house. Life is good!

I'm all about the countdowns right now. Only 4 more days until my first ultrasound. I've been praying every night for my little butter bean in my belly. No matter what happens on Friday I know I am blessed. I have been happier in these past two weeks than I have been in a long time. I am so grateful for this experience and plan to soak up every second. I know the odds, I know anything could happen but I'm choosing to stay positive and pray that this time is my turn. We have waited and struggled. Why not us? Why don't we deserve this? I've even let myself unpack all the baby things I purchased for us while we were trying (and painfully packed away 2 years ago). I read through the Richard Scary books I bought, I looked at the little tiny outfits I bought. It felt amazing to even fathom the idea that this fall I will be a mom. Sam will be a dad. And we will be a little family.

Could this go any slower?

I'm barely pregnant and trying to enjoy every second but I just wish these first few weeks would go by faster. With Sam and I being apart I would love to speed this along so we can celebrate our little miracle. I'm staying in my ignorance is bliss mode right now. I have not gotten a blood test or an ultrasound or anything yet. I'm a nurse, I know I should, but I also know it isn't necessary yet. I'm taking my prenatal vitamins, I'm having a few symptoms, no pain, no bleeding so I figure I have a few weeks left just to hang out. I don't want everyone at work to know and our hospital is so small that everyone would know rather quickly. I have my 4 positive tests with the lines getting darker each day and that is enough for me.....for now.

Now that the initial shock has worn off I'm just enjoying the idea of us becoming a family of three, no offense to my pup Satchel. I'm also making myself nervous thinking about daycare when I have to go back to work and worrying about the actual delivery part of this whole deal. I'm a L & D nurse so I've seen some shit go bad in there and it scares the crap out of me. As scared as I am I continue to feel completely blessed to have a chance to have this baby. I know I am far from out of the woods yet, but I am truly grateful for this experience.

In other news the house is coming along well. I can't wait to move in! Sam hired someone to refinish all of the floors, he painted 3 of the rooms already, and some of our new furniture has arrived. The place will be ready to go by the time I get back in April. All of our stuff is being shipped on Monday back to the US (a nice 2 month long journey on a ship). I have a ton to do and no motivation. So far all I feel like doing is sleeping :)

And it's finally my turn :)

I know I've been away forever and literally so much has happened that it might be impossible for me to ever catch up. But I'll try...

• Went back to the states with my mom in mid January. Had some training in TX and then off to VA to visit the hubs.
• Closed on our first house! This is an entire post in and of itself but I'll give you a preview here... (more to come).
  
  
  

• I was in VA when my best friend Naomi became very sick and went into the hospital to have her baby. I was able to be with her through her whole labor, because her husband is away on a shipboard deployment. It was fantastic to take care of her at the old hospital I used to work at and where I soon will work again. Emma is a doll. See for yourself:

And most exciting of all (to me) was the perfect execution of our first IUI. We met with the Dr on Jan 31st and I had one perfect follicle. I got a repeat scan on the first of Feb and my HCG shot. Feb 2nd Sam went and gave his sample and brought it back to our hospital (count was 33 million with 71% motility) and I had my IUI just 2 hours before Emma was born, in the same exact hospital. How cool is that?

Then of course I had to leave my husband, my BFF, and little Emma to fly back to Italy for the last time. My dread two week wait began. On Sunday the 12th, my 5th wedding anniversary, I gave into my obsession with peeing on things and had a rather unsatisfactory result with a stupid blue dye cheapo test that I bought. I saw a clear line form immediately, no color in it, it looked just like a stupid evaporation line. The next morning the same thing. My poor husband begged me to stop, I was only 11dpo. But i bought a FR pink dye test that day and took it before I went to bed. And to my surprise this is what I saw!!

That second line formed and I held my breath. I couldn't believe my eyes. I am so grateful. I'm quite aware that it could end at any second but for now Sam and I are ecstatic. I rushed upstairs and called him on skype and told him through tears that he was finally going to be a dad. I so wish we could have been together but we are both so happy about the baby that neither one of us really cares. It's been such a long road and we are so happy to have found our way to this place, it doesn't matter how we got here. I feel truly lucky! We aren't going to tell anyone for awhile but I had to tell someone :) I can't believe it is finally my turn!